Category: recovery

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It can seem so far away…but it may not be as far as you have led yourself to believe. It all starts with a single step.

Buy art and feed a starving artist. Inspirational quote art and canvases at CariniArts.com

“Searching for hoMe.” Acrylic on canvas. 48in x 30in. Canvas prints available in a variety of sizes.

We are all searching for home. We are all searching for ourselves. When we find ourselves, we will find home. I’ve spent the majority of my life “Searching for hoMe” and I still am. I don’t think that I’ve had many periods in my life where I felt safety and comfort for an extended period of time. It has always been a fight. Most of what I’ve known has been a struggle to survive and most of it has been completely alone. I don’t regret that because it has made me strong. It has made me the man I am today. Perhaps one day though, I can find that place to call home and someone to share it with. I will not stop “Searching for hoMe” because the search for home within yourself is the most important journey you will ever embark upon. Safe travels and godspeed. 

Right now we are all trapped at “home” and I know it can be overwhelmingly revealing of whether or not that “home” actually feels like it is. If it’s not, this is your opportunity to make that difficult decision to make the change and find yours. 

Get canvas prints of this painting and all your other favorites at CariniArts.com

Today marks my mother’s Birthday, which means it is a day of celebration. Happy Birthday Mom!  It is also the anniversary of my father’s suicide, making it a day immense weight. It’s a mix of emotions, but certainly a day of feeling a great deal.

I did not learn of my father’s story until I was 28 and reconnected with my long lost family. Shortly after, I wrote “Michael’s Note” (pictured here), the suicide note my father never left. It was followed by “Reign Upon Sunrise,” a 5 year tribute project navigating a spectrum of emotions, thoughts, and experiences…a life that continued after another was lost. It reflects heavily upon they dynamics of relationships, mental health, and my own personal battles that almost let to a similar fate.

My greatest struggles in life have also provided my greatest opportunities…the opportunities to grow, to be more, and at times, to simply survive so that I could make it to another day and share my story with those that are fighting their own battles and struggling to find their voices. My greatest silver lining through everything has been the opportunity to be that for someone else. 

Check out my blog story at CariniArts.com for more on this including the transcribed copy of “Michael’s Note.”


FULL STORY HERE

Today marks my mother’s Birthday, which means it is a day of celebration. It is also the anniversary of my father’s suicide, making it a day immense weight. It’s a mix of emotions, but certainly a day of feeling a great deal.

I did not learn of my father’s story until I was 28 and reconnected with my long lost family. Shortly after, I wrote “Michael’s Note” (pictured here), the suicide note my father never left. It was followed by “Reign Upon Sunrise,” a 5 year tribute project navigating a spectrum of emotions, thoughts, and experiences…a life that continued after another was lost. It reflects heavily upon they dynamics of relationships, mental health, and my own personal battles that almost let to a similar fate.

Check out my blog story at CariniArts.com for more on this including the transcribed copy of “Michael’s Note.”

FULL STORY HERE

Close up view of “When Nobody Else Would Love Me (I Had To Learn To Love Myself)” behind the scenes. It’s difficult to convey the level of detail without seeing it in person, but this shot certainly helps. It’s often difficult to see the work we put in from the outside, but it’s still important to do that work for ourselves. Over time, that little bit of work each day really starts to add up. Life and self-love really are a marathon and not a sprint. Do the work and the rewards will follow. In fact, learn to see the work as the reward and you’ll learn to love it…and yourself in the process.

Please check out CariniArts.com for my blog, podcast, and to feed a starving artist. Your support puts food on the table and paint on the palette.

Michael Carini

“Beneath The Wings Of Free Swan (Deanne’s Song)” is the last tribute painting I did for Deanne, finally acknowledging that she may, in all likelihood, not be coming back. It was so difficult to encapsulate all that Deanne was. That’s probably why I dedicated so many pieces to her. She also deserved more. She was a major influence on my work and the man I am today. I was trying to get a decent photo of this painting when I got caught up with the way the light was playfully illuminating it.

Painting Statement: This painting took me almost three years to get to because I didn’t want to address it or acknowledge it. This is the tribute painting for Deanne Hastings, my best friend and the woman I loved. Deanne disappeared near the border of Washington and Idaho at the end of 2015. She used to call me “Wings” and is the reason I have them tattooed on my back. She would always tell me stories about the archangel Michael and say I was her guardian angel, there for her through a number of trying predicaments and loving her unconditionally. This is the one time I was not able to be and I think about it every single day. Now I’m under her wings and this tribute is her swan song as she is finally freed of her cage and hopefully at peace. I love you Deanne.

Original and prints available. Get yours + Carini Arts gear at CariniArts.com and please also check out my new blog post with my Deanne update. Sharing her story is the best way you can help bring closure to her story.

#MostlyForHer painting available. You can also request your favorite poem on a custom painting commission. Message me for inquiries.

Share your favorite pieces from Carini Arts for a chance to win free art in monthly giveaways. Check out my blog, podcast, and shop at CariniArts.com where you can find canvas prints, hoodies, tees, leggings, blankets, jewelry, and much more.

#MostlyForHer poems available upon request. You can also request your favorite on a custom painting commission. Message me for inquiries.

Share your favorite pieces from Carini Arts for a chance to win free art in monthly giveaways. Check out my blog, podcast, and shop at CariniArts.com where you can find canvas prints, hoodies, tees, leggings, blankets, jewelry, and much more.

“Midnight Dancer (Take Me Away).” Acrylic on panel. 60in x 48in. Prints available.

This painting was the very first I ever created for Deanne Hastings, one of my greatest inspirations and the person that was closest to me. Sadly, Deanne went missing in 2015 and has yet to be found. It is suspected that she was murdered but there has been no closure to date. I still think about her every single day.

Deanne always called me her “Wings” and is the reason I have them tattooed on my back. I just wish I could have there for her this last time when she really needed me most. I could sense the call was going to come, but it never did, and part of me knew why. I’ve always felt that I failed her by not being there that last time, though I wanted to be and would have been. I think one of the reasons I work so hard is because of Deanne. I always tried so hard to impress her and make her proud. The last time I saw her, she told me she was. I will forever do whatever I can to keep her spirit alive through my creations. She is now my “Wings” and my angel. I love you Deanne.

Deanne inspired a number of my my best and most personal paintings. I keep reminders of her in my studio, including the last postcard from a tribute exhibition I did for her in 2010 that portrays this very painting. I also have her handprints from her last visit, which she placed on my “10 Year Floor Canvas,” framed and always within view. I will never part with those. The remainder of the paintings she inspired were sent to her family for her children to one day have…happy and beautiful memories of their mother.  

More from Carini Arts including a Deanne update at CariniArts.com